Monday Thoughts: Catch-up Season

Catch-Up Season: Thoughts on Connection, Busyness and Saying No

Since starting work on our book Not Everything Is Urgent, I’ve been thinking a lot about pace.
How we move through life.
How we fill our time.
And recently, how even our relationships have started to feel… rushed.

It’s funny, isn’t it? We spend so much time talking about slowing down, and yet we still try to fit connection into our calendars.

Catch-up season

This time of year always brings it up for me, catch-up season.
That end-of-year rush when everyone starts saying, “Let’s squeeze something in before Christmas.”

And we mean it. We really do.
But lately I’ve started wondering if we’ve turned catching up into a kind of social admin.
A thing we do because we should.
A way of proving, “See? We’re still close.”

I catch myself doing it too.
Planning half-hour coffees squeezed between meetings, swapping life updates like bullet points, and then rushing to the next thing.
And it’s fine, but sometimes I leave feeling… flat.
Like I ticked a box but didn’t fill anything up.

I’ve noticed myself pulling back

I don’t think it’s intentional, but this year I’ve said no more often.
Not because I don’t care, but because I’m craving something different.

I ran into someone recently who I hadn’t seen in years. She suggested a catch-up before Christmas and, without really thinking, I said, “Honestly, no, I’ve got a lot on. Maybe 2026?”
It sounded a bit harsh, and I thought about it afterwards. But it was true.
My days already feel stretched. I don’t want to cram in connection the way I cram in emails.

The moments that stay with me

When I think about the times this year where I’ve actually felt connected, they’ve all been unplanned.
Going for a walk and a drink after a football match because we had an hour to spare before pick-up.
Talking in the car park after an event.
Cooking dinner with a friend while the kids ran around.

Those moments weren’t in the diary. They just happened.
And they felt richer, easier, maybe because we weren’t performing “catching up.”

I’ve also realised I connect best when I’m doing something, walking, cooking, moving.
When the body’s busy, conversation flows differently. There’s less pressure. More truth.

The fear underneath

Sometimes I wonder if part of this is fear.
Fear that if we don’t keep showing up, people will forget us.
That if we don’t maintain things, they’ll fade.

But then I think about my friends back in New Zealand.
We go ages without talking, months, sometimes a year, but the time never seems to matter.
When we do speak, we pick up right where we left off.
No guilt. No awkwardness. Just warmth.

So maybe it’s not about how often we see people, but how real we feel when we do.

I don’t have an answer

I’m still working this out.
Part of me wants to see everyone.
Part of me just wants to stay home.
And part of me thinks maybe connection isn’t about quantity at all, it’s about attention.

So if you’re feeling the catch-up pressure creeping in, maybe we can both take a breath.
Say no when we need to.
Say yes when it feels right.
And trust that the people who matter won’t disappear if we don’t cram them in before Christmas.

Because maybe connection doesn’t need managing.
Maybe it just needs space.

Kim x